One day several years ago, I was standing in the grocery store cereal aisle, panic rising in my throat. So many boxes…so many choices…so much guilt over feeding my kids so much sugar and starch…and–here’s the kicker–I was over-the-top overwhelmed with my responsibilities and (perceived and actual) lack of resources.
I was so overwhelmed that I froze…and then left the store without having purchased anything.
Sounds pretty ridiculous, reading it in print like that. But maybe you can relate, just a little?
Maybe you have felt overwhelmed, too–like when several clients need their projects finished today, or you are exhausted but still have hours of work to do, or are late to an appointment, or…
Stress, right?
We’ve all heard the advice:
- Manage your stress, because stress causes a myriad of health issues.
- Make sure you are getting enough exercise.
- Get sufficient rest.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Plan and execute your plan.
- Think positive thoughts.
Great stuff. Those are all foundational, aren’t they? They are goals and actions that Stephen Covey would have called “Second Quadrant” or “Sharpening the Saw” activities, or what Michael Hyatt and many others would call “Productivity Secrets”. You and I both know that we really need to do these things.
But sometimes, the only thing you can do is leave the store or go to bed or have a good cry.
That’s OK. Sometimes your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual reserves are so depleted you are forced into acute-recovery mode. If you have experienced this, you know what I mean.
After recovery mode, there needs to be a lot of saw-sharpening.
But what if you can’t do that right now? What if you’re in stress mode, and you need a quick adjustment to get through that moment…so you can afterwards focus on those deeper needs with a bit more mindfulness?
If that thought leaves you feeling like wilting a bit…well, me too.
Enter the first of three doable tips to quickly adjust your outlook in the middle of an overwhelming moment in the grocery aisle, or wherever you are. Later, you can have enough clear thinking to get out and hone those big saws.
OK. You’ll love this one:
Smile. It’s even better than chocolate.
Yes, I know.
“Come again??” you say.
Stick with me.
Did you know that there is a lot of research on the beneficial and unexpected benefits of smiling?
Here is a smattering of bits about smiling:
- When you smile, you change the neural processing in the emotional centers of your brain.
- Smiling IS contagious
- Smiling stimulates the brain’s reward mechanisms even more effectively than chocolate does.
- It’s difficult to frown when you are looking at someone who is smiling.
- Your brain’s sense of happiness is activated when you smile.
- Smiling actually makes you feel better!
- Smiling reduces stress hormone levels.
- When you smile, you are perceived to be more likable, courteous, and competent.
- When you smile, even if it’s fake–you tell your brain that you feel good…and it believes you…and it releases more feel-good hormones…and you feel even better!
Now, you may be wondering why and how you should smile (grimace?!) like a Cheshire Cat when you are frozen in the cereal aisle, or your dear child just knocked a full OPEN jug of milk onto the floor (don’t ask) just before you need everyone out the door for school, or you’re late for an important appointment.
Why pursue intentional smiling in a moment of stress?
Well, because it’s like a short circuit. You make a sudden change. You do a 180, an about face. You “repent”, in biblical terms, which really means “to turn the other direction”.
You tell your brain that something is pleasant. Your brain responds to the activated smile muscles, and provides a few more good hormones. You get a little edge, a little extra fuel to navigate your tough spot.
The Bible says that:
A glad heart makes a cheerful face,
but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed (Proverbs 15:13).
One simple, quick way to lift your crushed spirit is to smile.
Convinced?
I am teaching myself and my children to smile when faced with a stressful or annoying moment. My kiddos may grump when I require some fake smiles during a rough scene, but it seems to help, even if it takes a few tries. It can turn into a giggle session with the littles.
How in the world do you use this…tool??
If you, like me, need to boost your smiling power, here are a few ways to do that:
- Before talking on the phone, meeting someone, doing an unpleasant task, or even writing a blog post, think about someone or a memory or story that makes you happy, or brings you much joy. This will encourage you to genuinely smile, and it will be evident in your face, voice, and writing.
- Smile so that your eyes crinkle! The research shows that the more smiling muscles that are activated (the “Duchenne” smile), the more effective and believable your smile is–to your brain, and to others.
- Practice–while you’re cooking, doing laundry, talking to your child or hubby, or while you’re driving (the folks that may notice you smiling will wish they knew which radio station or podcast you’re listening to!)
- When you’re getting ready in the morning, smile at yourself in the mirror! Weird, but you’ll get a double dose, and can give yourself a little pep talk. Seriously!
Well, I can’t say we’ve got this one down yet, but we’re working at making it a habit.
I hope you find the art of the smile–even a fake one–as useful as I do!
Join me next time for another surprising way to quickly diffuse stress.
For further info on the power of smile:
***http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericsavitz/2011/03/22/the-untapped-power-of-smiling/#2fdf843a20d8
The Science of Smiling: A Guide to The World’s Most Powerful Gesture
http://www.forbes.com/sites/rogerdooley/2013/02/26/fake-smile/#24a0aed2334c
http://neveradullminute.blogspot.com/2010/11/two-awesome-bible-verses-about-power-of.html